01/05/13: The Women’s Center

by thiswinteralso

January 5, 2013

A few weeks ago, I asked if I could use the computers at the Women’s Center to look for the videos of me.  I was told that I could.  When I was looking for the videos, I would first ask to speak to whichever volunteer was working at the time to explain why I was looking through porn websites when otherwise I wouldn’t be doing that.

I haven’t been spending a lot of time looking for them.  Staying at the Pine Street Inn doesn’t give me a lot of time to be in Cambridge to use a computer at the Women’s Center during the week to do that and the computers at the public libraries don’t seem to allow porn websites.  I also hate looking for them; it’s upsetting.

It was last week or the week before when I got to the Women’s Center and saw that there was a large bottle of purple dishwashing liquid on the sink.  In red, it said “LA TOTALLY AWESOME,” in black it said “Advanced Grease Cutting Formula” and in larger, purple letters, it said “Ultra Deluxe.”

During 2010, when the harassment of me had first turned sexual, I made a joke.  I said “My vagina’s a basic.  It’s neither a deluxe nor a substandard; it’s just a basic.  I probably still have all of the paperwork that went with my birth certificate, the warranty and everything.  It says “BASIC” on every page.”

I’ve referred to that joke before, and so what I’m wondering is if the videos of me are on the Internet and someone at the Women’s Center has found them and isn’t telling me where they are.


Copyright L. Kochman, January 5, 2013 @ 11:58 a.m.