11/21/12: Looking for the illegally-made videos of me

by thiswinteralso

November 21, 2012

Tonight, I finally started looking through some porn websites to try to find the illegally made videos of me.

I didn’t find them.

If they are difficult to find, or aren’t on the Internet at all, that’s good; I don’t want people to watch them.

I don’t want to spend hours looking at porn to try to find them. I’m looking for them because I think that I’ll probably have a better chance of suing about them if I can call a lawyer and say “Here’s proof that they exist. I didn’t want them to be made. I don’t want people to watch them. Can’t I sue about this?”

I would be ok with not getting money from this situation; the reason that I started talking about suing is that the problem isn’t stopping. If the videos vanish and the problem goes away, and my life ceases to be affected by it, I will have achieved my goal, and I’m not particular about how that goal gets achieved.

What I think I do know about lawsuits is that they are a pain; they take a long time, are tedious, and are often if not usually full of acrimony.

I am not happily anticipating the moment when I find the videos. I don’t know what could make the people who have done this do this to someone. I can’t imagine doing this to someone, how vicious and hateful you have to be, what a sick, cruel person you have to be, to do this to someone.


Copyright L. Kochman, November 21, 2012 @ 6:34 p.m.